Shouldn’t I Suffer in Solidarity with the Palestinians?

Tips below have been verified by a clinical psychologist trainee.

Taking care of my mental health seems like a privilege lately. How can I when there are 2 million people starving, dehydrated, injured, and dying in Palestine. It is Day 24 of the continued carpet bombing and airstrikes in Gaza and military abuse in the West Bank. Today, the Israeli government bombed a refugee camp. I cannot even remember how to take a deep breath. I have been missing deadline after deadline. And I have contemplated taking a leave of absence from university.

It is not to say that I have been idle. Since October 8th, I have organized two rallies in Notre Dame, Indiana. I’ve attended panels, donated to the Egyptian Red Crescent and purchased eSim cards for people in Gaza. I sign and circulate every petition that crosses my screen, write statements, and organize meetings. I chanted “Ceasefire Now!” at a panel by Indiana Senators Todd Young, Chris Coons, and Father Jenkins of Notre Dame after they gave corporate-like statements about Israel’s right to defend itself. I hosted an emotional support group for Pro-Palestinians at my home. I listen to podcasts on Palestinian liberation, watch historical documentaries on the Israeli apartheid, and re-immerse myself in the knowledge of Ghassan Kanafani and Ghada Karmi.

I am burned out and it has only been 24 days of activism. I stopped taking care of myself as a means of feeling the suffering of Palestinians. And I don’t mean the pink and fluffy self-care where I put on a face mask and take a bubble bath. I mean basic care like eating, taking my anti-depressants, or showering. I forget to do laundry and help my roommates with essential chores. Somehow if life around me is chaotic, then I feel less guilty for just living.

I have received different forms of advice for my recovery — the main one being to avoid social media. However, social media is how I receive news about what is happening in Palestine given the Western media is dead set on maintaining support for the Israeli government. Most of my friends and family receive video and photo footage firsthand because of our proximity to Palestine and degrees of separation.

The next piece of advice I receive is to see a counselor. I cannot see anymore non-Arab counselors or those who have no training in war-related trauma. Why? Because I need to speak to someone who understands the decades of racial trauma we have been experiencing. I cannot talk to someone gives culturally inappropriate advice or does not know the difference between a collectivist vs individualist culture. I am privileged to have gone to a therapist for the past 5 years, so at least I have the tools at my disposal when I’m ready to use them again. If you are not as stubborn as I am, though, then I’d recommend you try seeing someone.

I finally asked myself, what is the benefit of self-inflicted suffering? It serves two purposes: 1) it alleviates my survivor’s guilt and 2) it mitigates my fear of become a passive observer. But I become unproductive if I allow myself to lean into my depression.

I cannot serve the Palestinian cause if I am burned out. Eventually, I would have to take time off to nurture myself back to psychological stability. All the time wasted on self-inflicted suffering could be invested into taking action to end the Israeli occupation.

Based on these realizations, I outlined a few rules for myself:

1. Sleep 8 hours: When I am sleep-deprived, my cognitive functioning deteriorates. I cannot make sound decisions or articulate the arguments required to push for Palestinian liberation.
2. Eat 3 simple meals/day or fast: Muslims use Ramadan as an opportunity to reflect and understand the suffering of those in poverty. Avoid food and water for a few hours at a time or fast the whole day. This time of the year is actually ideal for countries in the Northern hemisphere because there are fewer hours of sunlight. Otherwise, keep meals simple and avoid food waste.
3. Take action everyday to advance Palestinian liberation (other than social media): if you are productive through other means such as making donations, organizing protests, writing and circulating petitions, then you are still contributing in ways that do not have a crippling cost to your health. It’s ok to be sad and angry. We do not need to de-sensitize or numb ourselves to pain and suffering, but we should use our feelings to serve a greater purpose.
4. If you don’t want to exercise at the gym, then at least go for a walk or stretch at home: How else are you going to march or protest? Enough said.
5. Be deliberate about social media: Every time someone tells me to take a social media break, I roll my eyes at them. How else am I supposed to know what’s going on? Choose your top 5–10 news sources (e.g. Al Jazeera, Motaz Azaiza, Eye On Palestine, Middle East Eye, Shaun King). After checking social media, channel any feelings you have towards taking action.
6. Create a safe space for your people: Humans are social creatures and isolation is detrimental to our health. When I hosted a 2-hour emotional support group last Sunday, my feelings were validated. I felt seen and heard by my peers. We each took turns speaking without interruption nor judgment. If it’s a large group, then set a timer for 2 minutes. If your people are in a group chat, then give everyone a prompt to share like, “How did X event make you feel?”. You can also start the conversation with your own feelings.
7. Keep our goals in mind: 1) a ceasefire, 2) return of the hostages, 3) bringing the Israeli government to the International Court of Justice, 4) humanitarian aid delivery to Gaza, and 5) end the Israeli occupation on Palestine territories.

Bonus: Do your main job for the purpose of giving back to Palestinians: I am a cognitive psychologist in training and a lot of research is needed on the human brain across cultures. Most work has been done on white Americans even though many experiments have shown that we process information differently depending on our environments and our language abilities. For myself, dreaming of how I can train future psychologists in Palestine to advance research has kept me going lately.

In summary, self-inflicted suffering might keep you going in the short-term, but eventually you will completely collapse. And right now Palestinians need you and need your voice. We have to keep going. And we cannot let Palestinian liberation become a back-burner topic if or when a ceasefire occurs.